Tonga

Greetings

Man greeting Man – A handshake is the preferred form of greeting. Handshakes are warm and usually linger a bit.

Woman greeting Woman – A “sniff kiss” on the cheek is usually exchanged between friends and family. A handshake or nod of acknowledgment is common for women who aren’t as familiar.

Man greeting Woman – A handshake is common among professionals; otherwise just a nod of acknowledgment will do.

Communication Style

• People like to please each other, so when you ask a question, you may get the answer you WANT to hear instead of the truth.
• It is always good to ask questions that require more than a yes or no answer.

Personal Space & Touch

• Tongans do not tend to be close talkers. They will often shout at each other from across the yard or from the doorway of your house.

• An arm’s length is generally a good boundary during conversations.

• There is usually little to no touching during talking, unless among close friends of the same sex.

• No touching between sexes should take place in public.

Eye Contact

• There tends to be a clear hierarchy of rank in Tonga, so direct eye contact with someone who is “higher up” than you is not common.
• Students will look at the floor when answering teachers and this is acceptable.

Gestures

• Using the American way of beckoning somebody over to you is not used. While it is not considered rude, Tongans are more used to the downwards swipe of the arm towards yourself instead of the raised palm and finger swipe towards yourself.
• When showing measurements (as in “I caught a fish this big” and showing the length), you hold one arm straight out and measure from your fingertips up the arm using the opposite opened hand. Using your fingers to show measurement or holding both arms out wide is considered crude and might get a laugh out of a Tongan.

Views of Time

• “Tonga Time” is a very common expression. Tongans are often late or not specific in times for meetings, events, etc. They will note, however, if a meeting will be on “Palangi Time” (literally “people of the sky” meaning anyone from countries such as Australia, New Zealand, USA, or Europe ) or “Tongan Time”.
• Personal time is also something that is not widely used in Tonga. For example, people are free to wake each other, interrupt, or just stop by unannounced, and they expect you to drop what you are doing to answer their request.

Gender Roles

• There is definitely women’s work and men’s work. Women do most of the chores around the house, i.e. cooking, sweeping, cleaning, laundry, and making Tongan handicrafts. Tongan men go to the bush to plant and gather crops.
• Men are considered of higher rank than women and they will generally address another man over a woman. So if you are standing with your husband, a man will speak with him over you, even if you are the person that should be addressed.
• Women should not go out alone, not for safety issues but because of the implications (doing something naughty). Most standards do not apply to tourists in the area, though Peace Corps volunteers are expected to adhere to cultural norms.
• Clothing is different in Tonga. Though it is very hot out, women are expected to wear skirts at all times in public, and the knees or shoulders should not be bared.

Taboos

• Being loud and obnoxious is considered rude.
• Showing displays of affection (ie holding hands, kissing, being close) to the opposite sex is not acceptable in public.

• Clothing is different in Tonga. Though it is very hot out, women are expected to wear skirts at all times in public, and the knees or shoulders should not be bared. It's advisable for travelers to cover up when walking in town or riding public transportation.

Law & Order

• The legal drinking and smoking age is 18. This is not enforced in the outer villages; where smoking and drinking is prevalent among young people.
• One can also buy alcohol or cigarettes at any age from most of the stores.
• Being drunk in public is against the law. If a police officer happens to see you stumbling around they will take you to “sleep it off” in the local jail.

Dress

• For Men- Most men wear the traditional Tongan dress of “ta’ovala” which is like a wrap skirt. They also wear a woven mat tied around their waist for more formal occasions or work. A nice collared short and khakis is usually acceptable for foreigners.
• For Women- Women should always wear an ankle length skirt and a shirt that covers their shoulders and cleavage.

Titles & Business Cards

• People generally address each other by their first name.

Gift Giving

• Gifts are usually given by both parties. Tongans love to make presentations and want their guests to feel honored and special. Even if they cannot afford anything, they will go all out to make a guest feel welcome and pampered.
• It would be wise to bring a small gift of food or something from your hometown to present to someone with whom you are working closely.
• Gifts are usually not opened in public but there is speech-giving and lots of pomp & circumstance that goes along with presenting the gift.
• Flowers are an appropriate gifts on special occasions such as weddings or funerals.
• It is considered very rude to refuse a gift from someone.

In the Classroom

• Lecture is the most common form of teaching,though it is changing as Tongan teachers are realizing new forms of hands-on student-centered teaching.
• Dress at most university is casual. Many students where jeans and t-shirts. Very revealing clothing is generally not acceptable.
• The grading system at most school is on an A-F scale, with A being the highest.

Other Observations

• Remember to be yourself, and try to ask as many questions as possible if you think you might be stepping over cultural boundaries. A good question to ask a Tongan is, “Would YOU do this?”.