Nepal

Greetings

Men greeting Men – All meetings generally begin with palms pressed together at around chest level and saying, “Namaste”, which means, “I salute the god/goddesses in you". Handshakes are common after the initial Namaste, for those familiar with western customs.

Women greeting Women – All meetings generally begin with palms pressed together at around chest level and saying, “Namaste”, or, “I salute the god/goddesses in you". Handshakes are common after the initial Namaste for those familiar with western customs.

Greetings between Men and Women – All meetings generally begin with palms pressed together at around chest level and saying, “Namaste”, which means, “I salute the god/goddesses in you". It’s best for men to avoid initiating a handshake with Nepalese women as this may be considered rude, especially in villages. Always wait from the woman to initiate, if at all.

Note: Always use the right hand when shaking hands. You may accept handshakes offered by both sex male or female, but never offer your hand first to women. Instead you do `Namaste’ as it’s considered rude for a man to touch a women even shaking a hand, especially married women. Hand shakes are more gentle than strong, so don't feel the person isn't interested if the grip is weak, it's just their way.

Communication Style

• When communicating it’s often the case that the Nepalese will tell you what you want to hear (in order to be polite). It’s best to be patient and see what actions follow the communication.
• Often times answer to a question will not be given with a direct “no”, even though that is what the true answer is.

• Conversations are less quiet and restrained than those in western countries and people generally start a conversation by asking personal questions; asking the price of your possession is rude in western countries but it is accepted between strangers here. If you feel embarrassed by this say you don’t know as it was a gift.

• Although you will be asked a lot of personal questions, it is best not to ask these questions yourself until you know the person well.

• The word “no” has harsh implications. Evasive refusals, being polite, are more common. Because of this people may say, “yes” in order to please you but have no intention of doing so; When giving instructions, it is wise to repeat them several times, preferably, step by step and check to see if they have understood.

• Thankfulness is expressed by facial expressions rather than verbal expressions. One should not assume that a person is ungrateful because he/she does not say thank you

• Calling people by names like Dad, Mum, Sister, Brother, Uncle is very common. For example, you say `Amaa' (Mother) or Buba (Dad) to your friend's parents but never call them by their names.

• Never tell a girl you don't know that she is beautiful or compliment on her features. Girls consider it impolite and rude - they think you are flirting with them. Most Nepalese girls don't flirt.

• Use of bad language is not common even among friends. Visitors should avoid using bad language, and remember most city people do understand spoken English.

• People who don't look like the ordinary Nepalese will get lots of looks and even constant staring. Especially when you are away from the main cities like Kathmandu, you will be noticed constantly by many people including beautiful Nepalese kids whose curious eyes will be all around you.

• Nepalese have strongly defined concept of friendship and hospitality and to be a friend or a guest here in is a less casual matter. The start and growth of relationships with the people depend considerably on the nature and attitude of the volunteer, when someone feels that friendship has been established he is like to assume automatically what are considered the normal privileges of a friend. These include personal favors, extended unannounced visits to your room and looking at your personal belongings.

Personal Space & Touch

• There is a decent amount of personal space during conversations. Arm’s length or even a bit more is appropriate, especially in situations between men and women.
• Male friends often walk holding hands or with their arms around each other. This is purely a sign of friendship. The same is usually true of women and women.
• Men and women rarely display any form of physical affection in public and touching during conversations is rare and may be taken the wrong way.

• Public displays of affection between those of the opposite sex are likely to be frowned upon, especially in rural areas. Even married people do not hold hands in public. You will however, see same sex couples holding hands or walking with arms around each other. It is a common friendship gesture.

• Perception of friendship is realized before such terms like Gay or Lesbian. When someone talks to you and taps you while talking to you consider that the person is trying to get your attention - it’s a Nepali way of friendship.

Eye Contact

• Direct eye contact is usually welcome when speaking with members of the same gender.
• For interactions between genders indirect eye contact is generally appreciated.

Gestures

• Pointing your finger at people is considered bad - it means wait and I will have something against you! If you have to point at someone, use your upturned hand or lift your chin and say over there.
• A shake of the head back and forth usually means “yes”; and a nodding of the head up and down tends to mean “no”.
• Thankfulness is expressed by facial expressions rather than verbal expressions. One should not assume that a person is ungrateful because he/she does not say thank you.

• Nepalese usually avoid licking stamps since these have been handled by other people

• Blowing your nose in front of people is considered rude. If you must blow, do it quietly and/or alone.

• People spit and throw stuff everywhere- there is no law against littering. Don't complain, just go about your business, and ignore it. The most common spitting is from the chewing of Betel Leaf (Paan) and chewable tobacco (Khaine in Nepali)

• Licking your fingers is considered a bad manner. In most foreign countries, you lick your fingers if it has touched any edible substances. Doing the same in in public is considered gross.

• Slurping - It is common to slurp tea and other hot drinks in restaurants and homes.

• Don’t be surprised if someone belches after a meal – this is generally regarded as a tribute to the meal

• Most Nepalese eat their meal by hand especially for the Nepali food Dal Bhat and Tarkari.

• When refreshments are offered, it is impolite to refuse. Take at least as little to show your appreciation, to refuse for fear of incurring expense to your hosts or because you question whether the food is sanitary would be a definite social slight.

Views of Time

• Being on time is not valued for the most part. This is generally the case in business and social settings.
• Although it is a good idea to show up on time for things, you will most likely be kept waiting.
• "Nepali time" pretty much means people will run late to everything.

• When making an invitation, repeat it several times being as specific as possible and try to get a definite response and don’t be surprised if your guests arrive late.

• Public buses don't run on time and traffic is unpredictable. Expect delays at all levels from getting a bus, taxi, plane and/or getting a room in your hotel.

Gender Roles

• The role of the majority of women is a traditional one. In most areas, especially rural ones, women are seem as caregivers, mothers, and not much more.
• In urban areas there are women in the workforce, but salaries are lower and opportunities are limited.
• Foreign women are usually given more slack in terms of dress, but travelers should avoid wearing anything to tight or revealing.

Taboos

• Lewd behavior and even simple PDA (public displays of affection) between genders are highly frowned upon.
• Avoid giving or receiving anything with your left hand, always use the right. This goes for eating and drinking as well.
• Avoid pointing your feet or the soles of your shoes at people when sitting.
• Raising your voice in anger is usually considered bad form.
• Hindus are particularly sensitive about the pollution of food when it is touched by anyone outside their caste or religion
• When drinking from a water container used by others, avoid touching your lips to it. If you cant drink the Nepali way, please ask for a glass. In a Nepali home, it is best not to help yourself from a jug of water or common dish of food but wait for it to be served to you

• Don’t serve leftovers to guests or offer a person anything from which you have taken a bite or sip

• The left hand is another source of pollution in many Asian countries because it is used for toilet purposes

• Use the right hand when eating and also in accepting and giving things.

• Contact with shoes is considered defiling or degrading and shoe beating is one of the most humiliating forms of punishment.

• People of status may not want to help polish their own shoes or be seen carrying them to the repair shop

• Take off your shoes before entering a temple or one's home, before putting your feet up on chairs, tables or the bed.

• Shoes are worn inside many Nepali homes but it is safest to follow the example of your hosts. If you see shoes being left outside, please follow suit.

• When you touch someone with your feet accidentally, you pay back the respect by tapping the person's shoulder, and then your forehead.

• Superstition is a part of Nepalese life. Never say a young baby healthy and or fat - they don't like that, they think the baby will get sick afterwords.

• Never keep your shoes or sandals upside down - it brings bad luck around.

• Spilling rice on the floor (specially cooked rice) and walking on it is an insult to the Hindu Goddess of Food.

• Priest plays an important role in the lives of Nepalese. He is called in to get a special `birth name' when a baby is born, he is there to witness marriage vows, as well as he is present at the funeral, and also in selected Hindu festivals like Janai Purnima. He performs puja, worships God and asks God for forgiveness of someone’s sins. They are passionate people; they love their job like no other. Never criticize the job of a priest, even if you don't agree.

• For a long journey away from home, you usually depart with a sip of yogurt and/or a red tika (colored mix or powder) on your forehead given by the senior member of your family. Some highly superstitious people will only travel on specific days of the week for leaving home towards a specification directions like north or south.

• The number 3 is considered unlucky - for example, when three people have to depart from the same location, they leave one after another but not all at same time.

• It is common to pray before traveling especially on a long journey, so you will see bus drivers with photos of Hindu goddess, incense and bells and doing prayers before beginning the first drive of the day. Its common to see hanging of red dried Chilies in places like homes, restaurants and even in buses - it's done to protect the place from bad spirits.

Law & Order

• Penalties for possession, use, or trafficking in illegal drugs in are severe, and convicted offenders can expect long jail sentences and heavy fines.

Dress

• For Men- Formal attire, such as coat & tie, or the Nepali dress code “Kurta Surwal” for men with Nepali hat. Casual slacks and shirts would be appropriate for men to wear to work, unless they are in a corporate setting which requires business suits and ties.
• For Women- Formal attire, Saree, Kurta surwal for female, business suit for modern people who live in the city. Women should wear slacks or long skirts. Short skirts and tank tops would not be appropriate.
• Most Nepalese women wear the Indian ’salwar kameez’ now which are comfortable and can be bought locally.

Titles & Business Cards

• Address colleagues with "Namaste" for the first and last meeting of the day. Hands pressed together at the neutral chest level, with a slight bowing of the head. No hand shaking unless initiated by Nepalese colleague. And then one should ask after the health of a colleague and his/her family.
• Supervisors may be addressed as ’sir’ or ’madam’. "Ji" can be added to the end of a name to show respect: "nancy-ji". This can be used for elders and professors or government officials. In the workplace, once relationships have been built the family references may also be used in place of names: "didi" - older sister, "bahini" - younger sister, "dai" - older brother, "bai" - younger brother.
  
• If a name is not known then these names can be used respectfully to ask a question.
• Most Nepalese will expect you to directly ask "what is your name?" and will give you a name that they prefer to be called. This should be followed.

Meetings

• Personal relationships are very important and therefore much time is spent on establishing these over endless cups of ’chai’ (tea). Questions about family, work, life experiences are good ways to establish these relationships.
  
• It's best to allow time for small talk before getting down to business discussions.
  

Negotiations

• Most decisions are made by management without much input from staff. The top down approach is quite prevalent though there are exceptions to the rule.
  

In the Classroom

• The school year begins in September and mirrors a Western schedule, but with shorter summer/winter breaks and more religious holidays (Hindu and Buddhist holidays are observed). More time is spent in school, and students spend at least five additional hours per week with coaches and tutors to excel.
• Courses are harder than in the US, graded 0-100 with 33 as a failing grade. Classes are taught lecture style and focus on memorization rather than discussion or group work.
• Jeans are acceptable and women may wear pants and show some skin while in class.
  

Other Observations

• Eating and drinking together is the traditional test of social acceptance.
• Tea with milk and sugar is usually served. (This is known as Chiya) - Assume that water is not boiled unless you are told otherwise
• Huge quantities of food are usually served. The assumption is that you would be hesitant to take as much as you really want. Don’t feel obliged to eat everything; however, eating a large amount is a compliment to your hostess.
• A guest should ask permission to smoke. Nepalese consider it a sign of respect if you don’t smoke in front of the elders
• A house guest should not expect much privacy or think that they will be left alone most of the time. The code of hospitality requires that the host take care of all your needs, one of which is often assumed to be that of having constant company
• You generally visit someone in a hospital with fruits or some powder mix like a popular Indian made Horlicks.