Cambodia

Greetings

• Greetings tend to vary based on age and social status, not sex. Whether you are meeting a man or a woman for the first time, you should “som-peah.” This is similar to the Thai “wai.” With hands held together, as in prayer, slightly bow your head.
• The person who is socially inferior or younger should be the first to bow, but it is considered polite for the older/socially superior person to respond quickly.
• The higher the hands are held and the lower the bow, the greater the degree of respect.
• When addressing a social equal, the hands are held at the level of the mouth; when addressing a person of higher social standing (this includes monks, regardless of age), the hands are held in front of the nose; and when addressing a younger/socially inferior person, they are held at the chin.
• It is unnecessary to som-peah to service providers, i.e. waiters and taxi drivers.
• Many educated Cambodians will follow Western customs and offer a handshake, but it can’t hurt to som-peah before shaking hands. Handshakes tend to be more on the gentle side and do not linger long.
• Som-peahs are made during initial introductions, or if people have not seen one another in a long time, but it is not necessary to bow every time you meet a friend or coworker. A simple wave or hello is fine.
• However you greet, you should remember to smile.

Communication Style

• Verbal communication tends to be non-confrontational and indirect.
• Many Cambodians will offer you the response they assume you want to hear, regardless of their feelings or plans, rather than offend you in public. Be prepared to receive seemingly contradictory information from different sources, and try to stay calm in these situations.
• Showing frustration with people in public does not usually win you any points. It may be more helpful to ask various simple yes/no questions of different people in order to put together a picture of the situation than to ask complicated how/why questions that may make someone uncomfortable.
• When there is a conflict, it is often resolved through an intermediary. Don’t expect to discuss the issue directly with the person who has taken offense. Once the problem has been resolved, the two parties can meet congenially without addressing the conflict.
• “Yes” does not always mean “yes” and “no” may be substituted for “maybe”, “possibly” or even “yes”. It’s best to pay attention to non-verbal cues such as facial expressions and body language.
• Cambodians tend to have two types of smiles. One indicates pleasure and the other embarrassment. It is sometimes hard for foreigners to tell them apart, but this is why some Cambodians will smile or giggle nervously when imparting bad news.

Personal Space & Touch

• In a business setting, slightly more than arms length distance is appropriate. This is the same for either sex.
• When interacting with friends or family, personal often seems to be a question of taste, so its best follow their lead. Typically an arm’s length is the norm.

• In a business setting, physical contact may be inappropriate, especially between men and women.

• When interacting with close same sex friends, close physical contact is acceptable. Holding hands and hugging are considered nonsexual displays of affection.

• Friends of the opposite sex and partners should be careful. Public displays of affection tend to be culturally inappropriate and offensive.

Eye Contact

• Indirect eye contact tends to be the norm in most situations.
• When interacting with older or socially superior people, it’s best to follow their lead. For example, many people would not make direct eye contact with a boss or official unless they first established that contact.
• When greeting and conversing with social equals or those younger than you, some direct eye contact seems acceptable, but it is less common than in Western countries.
• When a man speaks to a woman, especially a younger woman, she may avoid making direct eye contact and keep her eyes focused on the ground.

Gestures

• Rotating one or both hands held up in front of the body (similar to the Queen of England’s wave but faster) means “no”, “I don’t want it”, “we’re closed”, etc.
• To beckon someone, hold your hand palm downwards with the fingers pointing towards the ground and waggle them loosely in a scratching motion. Beckoning with the palm upwards (Western style) is considered rude.
• Cambodians tend to have two types of smiles. One indicates pleasure and the other embarrassment. It is sometimes hard for foreigners to tell them apart, but this is why some Cambodians will smile or giggle nervously when imparting bad news.
• It is normally courteous to remove your shoes before entering somebody’s home. It is required when entering a Buddhist temple.

Views of Time

• The view of time tends to vary a bit between the countryside and the city.
• In the country, when someone is busy, they may choose to finish with their activity and arrive late to a scheduled business appointment or meeting, although this of course depends on whether or not someone is being paid to show up.
• While it seems not rude to be late, if someone needs you to help him or her, they will expect timeliness.
• Punctuality sometime seems only valued by the person who is asking for the meeting/assistance, but generally in rural areas, allowances are made and time is flexible, because unreliable transportation, weather, health services, etc. demand it.

Gender Roles

• Gender issues tend to differ a bit on the urban/rural divide, but women are still seen primarily as caretakers and homemakers although it is beginning to change.
• Women generally marry younger then men and are expected to be virgins.
• If a family needs help running a family business or a home, a daughter, especially the youngest daughter, may stop studying at school to take on this role.
• In the countryside, there are woman teachers, doctors, market vendors, business people, but there is still a pervasive traditionalist view of gender roles.
• Because women are expected to be the primary caretakers and homemakers, they are also responsible for managing the money of the household and the education of the children. They are expected to attend public social functions, and married women may sometimes go alone to represent their families at gatherings.
• While young Cambodian men have some social independence, young Cambodian women do not often go out socially unescorted, especially at night.
• Expectations seem to be different for foreign women, and although a foreign woman exercising her independence may not be well understood by some Cambodians, it will probably be respected.
• Smoking is generally acceptable for men, but not for women. For women, smoking seems to be associated with prostitution. The same goes for drinking, although at large social gatherings, for example weddings, women may drink with men.

Taboos

• It is rude to point directly at a person, to touch somebody (other than a small child) on the head or hair, to point the soles of your feet at someone (especially a monk or a representation of the Buddha), to throw things, and in general to behave overtly aggressively or violently.
• When entering a temple, men should where long pants and a shirt. Women should avoid shirts, miniskirts, halter-tops, and strapless tops (anything exposing their shoulders).
• Women can hand something directly to monks, but they should not touch them.

• Don’t use your left hand to hand something to someone. To properly give money or an item for example to a monk or elder, hand it over palm up, left hand on right elbow.

• Public displays of affection, as well as disrespect to the Buddhist faith, are frowned upon in most social situations.

• Many working-class Cambodians don’t appreciate tourists giving money to beggars. They consider this a reward for laziness.

Law & Order

• There is no legal drinking age.
• Penalties for possession, acquisition, and trafficking of drugs are severe and include mandatory life imprisonment in local jails and death.

Dress

• For Men: Nice pants and collared shirts. Jackets and ties are not a must but good to have just in case. Being well groomed is appreciated.
• For women: Ankle length skirts and blouses. If trousers are worn, they should be worn with a matching business jacket. Avoid short, tight fitting, and sleeveless attire if possible.
• Jeans and are not recommended but may be appropriate in more rural areas.

Titles & Business Cards

• Titles are somewhat important and to be safe it is best to address people by using their professional title or Mr., Mrs., or Miss, followed by the surname.
• Cambodians will often use the honorific title "Lok" for a man and "Lok Srey" for a woman followed by the first name or both the first and surname.
• When handing something, like a business card, it is polite to use your right hand only. If the receiver is of higher social standing, you should support your right elbow with the fingers of your left hand.

• It’s best to never write on or fold a business card you are given.

Meetings

• Arriving on time for a meeting is important even though they may not begin exactly on time.
• Hierarchy is important in Cambodian society, so it is always best to defer to the most senior person in the room when it comes to beginning and guiding conversations. The most senior person will usually dictate the duration and flow of discussion of the meeting.
• Periods of silence are considered acceptable and are to be expected. Avoid interrupting, showing displeasure through facial or eye movements and talking over someone. Be patient.

Negotiations

• Cambodians tend to value relationship building and harmony so avoid hard selling, pressure tactics and any sort of conflict or confrontation. Saving face is paramount.

• Bargaining is usually expected; don’t get too emotional, as this will be viewed as a sign of weakness.

• Cambodians will generally avoid using no in answering questions. They tend to say, “maybe”, or “that would be difficult” or even “yes” or “no problem” even if the answer is really “no”.

• In a market setting, some bargaining is expected. Some vendors may see a foreigner and charge several hundred times the cost of the item, but many will give you a fair price after some bargaining. A good benchmark is to try and pay half to two-thirds the price quoted.

Gift Giving

• Very simple gifts are sometimes exchanged after a first meeting. They don’t have to be too elaborate. Floral/fruit baskets are common.
• If invited to a Cambodian home it is appropriate to bring sweets, pastries or good quality fruit baskets.
• Gifts should be wrapped, and presented with the right hand. If the receiver is of higher social standing, you should support your right elbow with the fingers of your left hand. If gifts are too large, they can be given with both hands.

In the Classroom

• Some universities have uniforms; others don’t. Clothes should be tasteful. Sandals and flip-flops are considered acceptable.

• The grading system usually differs from one institution to another. Some use the A-F scale, others use: 0-10; 0-20, or 0-100.

• Teacher-centered lecture seems to be the most common method of teaching. Group work and discussion are used as well but not as much.

Other Observations

• The Cambodians tend to be very forgiving about innocent cultural gaffes. However they don’t like it if they feel they have been deliberately slighted.

• It’s a good idea to try and learn some basic Khmer. The Cambodians will appreciate the effort.