Afghanistan | Culture, Etiquette and Customs

The Basics

Men greeting Men - Men usually shake hands when greeting one another during an initial meeting as well as in formal situations. Hugging and backslapping are common greetings among friends and family members. Some may exchange kisses on the cheek.
Women greeting Women - Women generally kiss each other, starting with the left cheek and then switching to the right cheek. Some will kiss one cheek, but most kiss two or four or even up 8 times (alternating cheeks). A handshake is common for initial meetings.
Greetings between Men and Women - If a woman wishes to shake hands with a man, she should extend her hand first. It is common for men and woman to exchange verbal greetings when first meeting in social situations. It generally not acceptable for women to touch men in public.
Note: Greetings are very important and usually consist of a lengthy exchange of questions regarding your health, the well-being of your family and general pleasantries. Asking someone a direct question without going through the greeting questions first, is usually considered very rude.

Afghanis tend to favor a mix of indirect and direct communication style.
When speaking to elders and members of the opposite sex, the style is mostly indirect.
When speaking to people one's own age or younger, the style is usually direct.

At least an arm's length of personal space is common when speaking to members of the opposite gender. This space tends to be closer with members of the same gender.
Male friends often walk holding hands or with their arms around each other, but men and women hardly ever display any form of physical affection in public.
Between friends and family members of the same gender, touching of the shoulders, and back slapping are common during conversations.
There is no touching between genders after the initial handshake, and only if the woman offers her hand.

Direct eye contact is usually the norm between members of the same gender and age.
Indirect eye contact is usually the norm when speaking to elders and members of the opposite gender.

People usually point towards something using the index finger.
Hooking the index fingers hand fingers together indicates an agreement with each other.
Use the right hand to give and receive objects and to shake hands.
Thumbs up means OK, cool, positive, good-luck, thanks, you're cool, I agree. Thumbs down means the opposite.
It is polite to take your shoes off when entering homes, offices, and most places of worship.

Afghanis view time as something flexible. They put more emphasis on people and relationships, rather than the meeting of deadlines and keeping to set schedules.
With shop owners and merchants, punctuality isn't usually valued but in business situations punctuality is expected.

Work opportunities for women are limited depending on social class.
Afghanistan is a patriarchal society. Women are restricted in many ways by their men and always do what they say.
Women are still expected to do most if not all of the cooking and cleaning, along with the child rearing.
Women are expected to keep their heads covered in public. This is not usually the case for foreign women, but it may be appreciated.

Don’t point the toe or heel or any part of the foot at any person.
Don’t show the sole of your foot or use the foot to move anything as it is viewed as the lowliest body part.
It is very rude for men and women to show affection to each other in public.
Avoid raising your voice or yelling at someone in public.
Avoid winking as it is generally construed as a come on.
It is polite to accept offer of tea when visiting homes and some offices. Rejecting the offer will most likely result in offending the person offering.

The legal smoking age is 18 but it is not enforced at all. Cigarettes and cigars are readily available.
Being in possession of small quantities of drugs will be subject to fines and/or jail or alternative penalties such as community service or drug treatment. However, as a foreigner could be deported or sent to jail depending on the situation.
If you are caught trying to take drugs in or out of the country, it is an automatic jail sentence.

For Men- Conservative suits and shoes are common in most business situations. Dark colors tend to be the norm. Most men wear the traditional Afghan dress consisting of a long shirt and trousers.
For Women- Dress should always lean toward the conservative side. Avoid any tight fitting or revealing clothing. Skirts/dresses should be knee length or longer. Wearing a headscarf is advisable and showing as little skin as possible is best.

Common titles include Mr. and Mrs. followed by the last name. People will also use titles for Doctors, Lawyers, Government officials, etc.
There is no specific ritual surrounding the giving or receiving of business cards. Many people do not have any to give so if you do receive one, it's best to treat it with respect.

Business meetings do not usually begin on time, however it is a good idea for a foreigner to be punctual.
Small talk almost always precedes any formal conversations. It's appropriate to inquire about one's health, families, etc., before dealing with business. The "get to the point" mentality is usually seen as rude. Setting a friendly mood will get you a lot further than trying to be direct about anything.
Interruptions are quite common and agendas tend to be followed loosely if at all. It's best to remain patient and follow along.

Bargaining is acceptable in most situations.
Decisions tend to come from the top down and may take awhile to be reached. With this in mind it is always best to negotiate with the most senior person one has access to.
Negotiation styles can change depending on where you are in the country.

If invited over for dinner or a drink to an Afghani's home, you should bring a gift. Avoid bringing alcohol unless you are sure they drink and even then it's best to be discreet about it. Appropriate gifts include desserts or pastries.
Gifts are usually wrapped nicely and presented in a subtle manner.

In urban environments it is common for students to wear jeans and shirts, but in the country side traditional clothing is more common with white colors for boys and black for girls and girls must wear head scarves.
Grades in most universities are given on the 0 -100 with 100 being the highest. Passing is 50 and less then 50 is failing.
Students are required to attend at least 75 percent of the classes for an individual course in order to be eligible for the final exam.
Lectures are the most common teaching method and it is the only method at many universities. It is commonplace for students to take down everything the professor says and then use their notes when tests are given. This method is just starting to change.

Afghans are normally very friendly and affectionate, especially men with men. It is customary to offer guests food and welcome people into their home and spend time talking to them.

The guides describe what people tend to do. The work at culturecrossing.net is about what you do.